


Dear Parker

by Gamzee_Makaraoni



Category: Original - Fandom
Genre: Other, This isn't my fault I swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-22
Updated: 2015-02-22
Packaged: 2018-03-14 15:02:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3415166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gamzee_Makaraoni/pseuds/Gamzee_Makaraoni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which a fierce battle is fought for someone's love. OR: I need new Tumblr mutuals. One-shot, never to be continued ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Parker

**Author's Note:**

> I think I finally found a meme that I dislike thanks to this fic
> 
> I'm also ashamed of myself of dropping to the floor and laughing maniacally when I thought about this
> 
> Inspired by this post: http://actually-bianca.tumblr.com/post/111436519173/nico-di-angelato-someone-write-a-fic-of#notes
> 
> Please enjoy also nobody hate me for this

"That's funny," Darrien commented, pausing his scrolling of his dash. "What do you mean?" Kelina asked, looking up from her own dash. "Some Anon claims to be in love with Parker. Look." Darrien tilted his screen to show Kelina. "Hm. I see." "I'm going to fight this Anon." "You want to fight every Anon that claims to love Parker." "So do you!" Kelina tsked. "Well, since you love Parker so much, why don't you just write her a declaration of your love?" "You know what? Fine! I'll do that!" Darrien grabbed a sheet of paper and a pencil and begin to write furiously. Kelina looked on, one eyebrow raised in amusement. Finally, Darrien finished, and stood up. "I actually wrote it. Hopefully, you're happy now-" BLAM Darrien gasped, clutching his chest as a sudden wave of pain shot through him. He looked down and nearly puked at the sight of the bright red seeping through his shirt. Music began to play. Mmm whacha saaay, mmm that you only meant well, well of course you did Darrien glanced back in horror to see Kelina staring blankly at him, a gun slowly letting off smoke in her hand. Mmm whacha saaaaay "Why?" Darrien gasped, before he collapsed to the ground. Kelina dropped the gun and stared at him. "There can only be one," was all that she said. MMM whacha saaaaaaaay, mmmhmmmmmm what did chu say When she was sure that Darrien was dead, Kelina picked up the note that he had written. Now she didn't have to write a declaration of love for Parker all by herself. Oh, what a joyous day it was- BLAM Mmm whacha saaay, mmm that you only meant well, well of course you did Kelina stumbled and gasped, leaning heavily against the bed. She looked down to see a hole in her chest, also seeping red. It looked like the one that she had given to... Kelina turned around to see Darrien holding the gun. "There can only be one," he mocked, clutching it tightly in his hands. Mmm that it's all for the best Kelina understood. Oh, yes, she understood. Only one person could be Parker's-one person overall. mmmhmmmmmm what did chu say But she, too, crumpled to the floor, facing Darrien. The gun clattered out of his hands. Both were motionless. "Guys?" Mana stepped into the room. "I heard noise-" BLAM Mmm whacha saaaaay Mana screamed in shock, and saw Kelina lying on the floor, holding up a gun and staring at her. Mana held a hand up to her chest as she started to sway. Everyone was basically on drugs by this point. Mmm whacha say, mmm that it's all for the best Mana crumpled to the floor, landing on her face, and Kelina dropped the gun. Now there was one less rival for Parker's affection. MMM whacha saaaaaaaay, mmmhmmmmmm what did chu say "Hey, guys! Guess who's here-Gods of Olympus!" Parker squawked when she saw three of her friends all lying on the floor. A gun laid between all of them. "Holy crap, what happened?!" Then she saw the note lying next to the gun, near Darrien. Hoping that it had some sort of an explanation, she picked it up. Dear Parker, By the time you read this letter, BLAM Mmm whacha saaaaay Parker gasped as a tremor of pain swept throughout her body from her chest, and she looked down to see Mana holding the gun, aiming it at her. Mmm whacha saaay, mmm that you only meant well- BLAM Now Kelina had the gun, and more blood began to bleed from Parker's stomach. Parker was in shock. How could Kelina do this to her? Mmm whacha saaaaay- BLAM Darrien somehow had the gun, and his eyes were narrowed at Parker. He looked angry. Parker gasped in horror yet again. This was starting to become a common occurrence, unfortunately. Mmm whacha saaaaay- BLAM Mana was on her side in a "Draw me like one of your French girls" position, smiling casually as she fired the gun. Mmm whacha- BLAM Darrien still looked angry. Mmm whacha- BLAM Kelina was still emotionless. Mmm whacha saaaaay- BLAM Mana was now on her stomach, the gun jutting out over one wrist. If she was going to go out, she might as well do it in style, huh. Parker fell back against the bed, now having to clutch at several gunshot wounds. What had she ever done to deserve this? Mmm- BLAM whacha- BLAM Kelina raised an eyebrow. For some reason, she seemed surprised. Mmm whacha saaa- BLAM Darrien's face had settled into neutral. Mmm whacha saaa- BLAM Mana was now lying on her back. What a ham. Mmm wha- BLAM Darrien yet again. Mm- Kelina had a wild look on her face. BLAM mm- BLAM Mana was back in the "French girls" position. Parker slid down against the bed. Where were all of the guns coming from, and weren't all of them dead? Mmm whacha saaa- BLAM Now Darrien looked repulsed, which didn't answer Parker's question. mm- BLAM Mana was on her stomach again, blowing a sarcastic kiss at Parker. whac- BLAM Finally, Parker fell to the ground, blood pooling all around her. The shooting stopped. Mmm whacha saaay, mmm that you only meant well "Jesus Christ." Zoe whistled as she stepped into the room, followed by Eli. "How did this happen?" She kicked Mana's body with her foot. "Never Gonna Give You Up" played in another room. Probably Saber's. "Hey, Zoe, look at this!" Eli picked up the note lying next to Parker, and started to read it out loud." "Dear Parker, by the time you read this, I'll be dead. This is how I think it is going to happen: I will shoot Darrien, then he will shoot me. Then Mana will enter and get shot by me. They you'll come in and get shot by all three of us-multiple times. Love, your true lover, Kelina." Eli snorted, then continued reading it. "P.S. Then Zoe and Eli will read this letter and shoot each other." Eli snorted again. "Seriously? What does Kelina think she is, some sort of fortune teller? Let's find Taylor and Saber and tell them about what happened in here-" BLAM Zoe was holding a gun, pointed at Eli's chest. Red started to seep through. Mmm whacha saaay BLAM Eli pulled out her own gun and shot Zoe in response. Mmm whacha saaay BLAM Mmm whacha Mmm whacha saaay BLAM Mm that you only meantMm that you only meant well BLAM Mmm whaMM that you onlyMMMthat you only meant well Zoe and Eli twisted themselves into various positions as they both shot at each other. It looked almost like a dance, if it weren't for the guns, the shooting, and the song seeming to be stuck on only one verse. mmmmmmmmwhatthatmmmmmmwellofcoursemmmm Finally, they stopped and stared at each other, dropping their guns. mmmmmmmthatmmmallforthemmmmmwellofcourseyoudidmmmmmm They both collapsed to the ground. that it's all for the that it's all for the that it's all for the mmmmmmmmmmmm well of course it is all for the mmmmm whacha saaaaaay. The door to the room slammed shut, and Darrien, Kelina, Mana, Parker, Zoe, and Eli were never seen again, and the world was finally free from memes.

**Author's Note:**

> I can't tell if I'm sorry or if I'm not sorry anymore
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr at autisticwillsolace. I also have serious fics on here, mostly Solangelo, along with more on my FanFiction at TailsDoll13.
> 
> I hate this so much
> 
> Deranged Shadow Fangirl


End file.
